published in Volume 1, Issue 3 on May 17, 1994
Not as much as to have left a furious letter behind I didn't even pretend not to care or that I wouldn't be willing to preach Holocaust to Sabbath school kids wherever I was going or that I knew where it was Only that I will never have to wear that canvas uniform in a hundred degrees weather never be owned by a higher ranked sadist never sent on jog in the heat with a pint of stale water never again assist in the oppression of individuals for the general good of a people who would not like to hear my opinion about it so I didn't tell them. Now, behind an ice glazed window in a frozen bottom university out there I have my wish I study eventlessness, holocaust-lessness, bone-breaking-less-ness, not even my bones by town people who think I'm a Martian So well did I step out of my world into the limbo of post recession my neighbor fast asleep, his wife one month pregnant I like pancake for breakfast but no ketchup I ask him how can you have no health insurance he says that he has study loans Universities are so great. lectures and students repeat in fast jargon future minds and experienced philosophers re-read verbally with the use of new methods young scholars and established residents of academia reiterate in professional terms margined thinkers and members of the establishment rephrase in unique language differently trained and degree earned mental writers say differently nothing alone I embark on conventions how further into the snow was I buried at the MLA it was Christmas in Toronto, Paris translated, London at a Cafe` this being arranged by the business people of a word procession I could well afford to sit belly emptied at THE ROYAL YORK and read The New Yorker: "Mrs. Lethwes had no feelings for the idea [of adoption]; ... Their own particular children were the children she wanted, an expression of their love" Mr. Shiltz had no feelings for the idea of AIDS Mr. Fauel had no feelings for the idea of free trade Mr. Mobavitz had no feelings for the idea of penis slashing Ms. Hardings had no feelings for the idea of losing out at the Olympics So my wife has no feeling for the next snow storm nor I for my toothache putting off my check up for two years now it will cost A nice touch of reality under my crowns don't I wish it for those convention people giving lectures of white domination in ten inches, research papers of Walt Disney's policies of employment Now criticized by tenureship junkies manifesting Gay and lesbian - we hate bisexuals - studies, saying "they cause AIDS" - as if blaming the Japanese will help produce better cars. the Russians - better winters the British - snobbier schools the Israelis - lousier wars the Deficiency Syndrome is a part of our lives now a thousand times better than that stale uniform, them canvas water, that one hundred degrees Holocaust that you may not protest for I may have no feelings for the idea of reality Now, I can delay and put it away for a while.