published in Volume 1, Issue 4 on September 15th, 1994
I can see it now I'll be a successful door-to-door existentialist and at one point my children would have refered to me as 'dada' and I would have sterilized their wounds with a painful, burning solution, so they could feel it working and I'll vote religiously and my wife will be president and our first cat would be able to defy gravity hovering around the living room like that I'll be crazed and happy, riding my bicycle around town collecting treasures and offering bites off my sandwiches Harvey, of course, will be gluing cherrystone clams together in a big ball and dropping it off the roof every March 9th. Ahh Bliss. One great orgasmic sneeze. So what could my sweaty teenagers do to undermine my society? get boring, get serious, get symbolic get,get,get, get,get, get Fah! I used to run around spinning a peach basket over my head because everything looked like an old movie and I used to come home and my mother wouldn't believe my story of how I got splinters in my shoulders. Nothing mattered much then when DuPont kept exploding like that rattling and breaking dishes, a crack down every ceiling in town people died then and the rest died a year after they retired my older brother thought there was a war with DuPont and I fell onto a floor scattered with Leggos however I have no Leggo scars to show I'll be prepared on all sides for their adolescent angst From that damned music and their drop-out friends except for one thing... That damned food in their hair Kidney beans, sauces, and other condiments just rotting and dried into their stiff locks No, they just get into the car spend more money to symbolize the waste of our system Maybe I should've slapped 'em around They were always strange They had to be the kid who would eat anything for a nickel when they could've at least got a dime.